I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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