i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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