I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
