Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
