We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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