My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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