do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
