so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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