This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
