Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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