will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
