Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
