"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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