so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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