You just made me feel so damn special
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
