yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
