do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
