my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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