I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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