i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
