How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
