HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
