I wish I could teleport
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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