You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
