i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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