Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
