yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The adults are the big ones right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
