butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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