I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm too high and old for this...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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