I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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