Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
