I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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