Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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