I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
