I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
