You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can I color on your dick again?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Two words: blizzard sex
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
