you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
