Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
