After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
