Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize