thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
