People in love make me want to vomit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
