Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
