I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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