ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
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