You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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