you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
