You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
