I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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