it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
