If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
