3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
