Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
