Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize