Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
