I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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