Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
