Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
