So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
