She's JV to your varsity
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
