Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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