my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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