so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
where does the pee come out of this thing
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
