Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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