I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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