I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
